Jingle Bells in January

Sorry I haven't posted for awhile... Life, as usual, dumped some interesting turn of events into my lap and I wanted to deal with said things separately from this blog.

Any how, how about I fill you in shortly before I get to the meat of this post:

I am currently loving my classes aside from some of the obnoxious people that inhabit them, but alas, that's college. I am currently exploring my options of later on joining a dietetics research group or something more oncology based for my graduate program... It's a few years off but quite exciting to think about.

I am also single now... Funny how that works out, right? You're honest with yourself and someone else only to have it backfire. But I had an EXCELLENT weekend with my friends which helped me realize a lot about myself. Driving seven hours there and another seven back allows you to really get to have time with yourself... might sound cliche, but it really helped. My findings were the following: Someone else's problem with themselves and trust issues is not my problem. I know my flaws and am working on them, and if someone can't accept that, or accept the fact that I am willing to come half way with them, is not worth being hung up over. I have been lost for many months out here at school and have been confused as to why I ended up here, and I got to thinking... perhaps I ended up here alone to find myself? What are your thoughts, my older readers? I would love to hear your comments and times you found yourself learning about yourself. Anyways, I am happy to be single and to focus on myself. Eventually someone will cross paths with me. If not, maybe I'll travel the world.

That's about all that has happened recently. But back to today...

I got called into work for about an hour and was quite frustrated, and was then pleasantly surprised by the lesson I learned from a little boy who looked to be about four. He was laying on his tummy on the booth with his mom and was kicking his feet singing "Jingle Bells" as loud as his mother would permit it. She was quite frustrated with him and said, "Sweetheart, it's not even Christmas anymore. It's January." And he politely responded with, "But it makes me HAPPY! I love this song!" This child showed me today to pursue what makes me happy. Who cares what time of year it is! I hope he remembers that lesson his whole life. It made my day.

Have a wonderful day everyone! :-)

Peculiar Situations...from funny to serious.

Why is it that I always seem to find myself in the most peculiar situations?

Sitting in my lecture hall of over one hundred people, fate places me next to a perky blonde student with three pens on her desk, a neat binder that is color coded, and a planner (also color coded). I exhale a sigh when I realize, "Oh dear god. I'm sitting next to a talker." But who am I to judge on first impressions? The lecture begins and my professor immediately starts with a rhetorical question. "Each of us has our own definition of wellness and health, right?" And immediately my overly-enthusiastic neighbor shouts out, "I think that the two go together." Everyone snaps their head in my direction and my hand hugs my pen tighter. Ladies and Gentlemen, once again, my gut instinct was correct. I am sitting next to Glenda the Good Witch who is full of comments for the rest of the semester. 

On another note, I went to Walmart for a multivitamin with no iron because my blood iron level is too high. All Walmart had for me was "Equate Multivitamins for 50+ Active Adults". Don't worry folks, my joints are feeling ten times better now.

But on the more serious topic of peculiar situations, it stems to character. In a more personal situation that I will not expand too much on, I have felt saddened the last few days and feel that writing this all out might help. If not the person it involves, at least myself to get it off my chest. I have a lot of flaws that I have actively been working on. I get pretty defensive, want to run from conflict, and can cry very easily (That one I blame on my mother. She cries at Hallmark commercials.). I have also run into a few issues this past semester involving drinking. I will be fully honest, I should never drink as much as I have a few times in the past. I know the issues I have with it based on family history, and after too much I tend to get way too emotional or quick to snap. Fortunately, my good friends back home know this and have watched out for me. Unfortunately, I have hurt someone I really care about by making poor decisions after drinking. And what hurts is that it's probably too late to fix it. I want to say though, and those of you who know me know, that when I say I love you, or I am sorry, it is worth everything I have. I am not perfect, and I fail a lot, but I do know that I love deeply. 

I guess the lesson I have learned is I am dumb and still have a lot of work to do on myself to be worthy of a partner... but the lesson that hurts the most and that I am refusing to accept is that sorry may not be enough for some people. Or it could be too late. It could be a work situation, a relationship, or even a family situation. All I hope is that my bravery of putting this out online doesn't bite me in the ass. I only mean to state my recognizing of my faults, and my attempt at fixing them.

But, with my chin up I must end this post and get on my homework. It's been a long day. 

I do promise my following posts will not be this...saddening. I want this to be a happy thing! 

The Start of a New Semester...

Let me fill you in on how I got to where I am now... I wrote this little bit on my first night in my apartment about a month ago: 

DAY ONE: 

Let’s begin this blog with a description of myself, so you can at least somewhat imagine what I am like as a person. Maybe you know me, maybe you do not. Nonetheless, I believe it is proper to introduce myself, being this is about me. I am a nineteen year old girl, roughly three months shy of becoming twenty. I have short strawberry blonde hair that I haven’t dyed, nor care to fix, which is why it’s short. I am your typical white as a sheet of paper person, but it doesn’t take much to make me turn red. 

Anyways, I am sure you’ll learn about me more later-- let’s get to the point of why I moved nine and a half hours from home on my own and ended up where I am now. I dated a boy for almost a year and decided to move out here for nursing school and to give love a chance, as the movies call it, and within a week and a half ended up single. Surprised? Probably not. But I sure was. My mother was diagnosed with two types of cancer (of which she is now recovering from very well-- she’s a trooper!), and well, let’s just say life was a shit storm for an entire semester. Towards the end of it all, my then roommate told me she was moving out. Well to me, why the hell would I stay in a smelly dorm, alone, when for just a little more a month I could live on my own? Spreading my wings! Proving myself! 

And here I sit, eating Cinnamon Toast Crunch out of the box, seeing by the light of my laptop with my sheets on the ground, and surrounded by my eleven boxes and three duffel bags... It reminded me of the scene from Sex and the City as Carrie wrote on the floor of her place right before she moved in with Mr. Big...except I do not have a fantastic shoe collection...or a Mr. Big. Instead I have my stuff packed away in boxes labeled “Berry Colossal Crunch”, “Coco Roos”, or my favorite, “Honey Nut Scooters”. Thank you Wal-Mart, for such entertaining cereal names. No TV, no bed, no couch, no kitchen table...just a few personal items, clothes, and old text books. Cribs was begging me for an interview on MTV, but you know, I just didn’t have the time. HA. Forgot to mention my car is also dead! I have to get a new motor in it. For now I am borrowing my boss’s old bicycle. As you can imagine, riding a bike covered in frost in 16 degree weather is incredibly enjoyable. :-) 

Anyways, I am going to try to sleep tonight, because I have to work tomorrow. Ah work. I am a waitress at a new restaurant in town. This is an entire different story in itself of which I am sure you will hear. Please let me note, I am not going to be complaining in this blog. In fact, despite everything you have read, life is actually quite pleasant. I am more explaining where I am at in life, attempting to implore some humor, because in all honesty, it’s hilarious. I believe everyone goes through something like this at some point, and it builds character. 

So much has changed since these times!!! I got my car back, I got a cute couch, a queen sized bed, and got cable and internet AND a kitchen table... I am slowing acquiring appliances and am decorating with whatever cheap things I can find. So my place is a little tacky...but I love it because it's me. I even built my own coffee table and end table! I started classes and am a little worried, and still doubt if where I am at is where I am supposed today. But I am learning to do it all one day at a time... 

I hope you enjoyed my first post! Feel free to give me feedback! 

Also special shout out to my friend Nicole for inspiring me to finally write this!!!